


Blood and Little Wolf

by MemoryThief



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Elves, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2011-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryThief/pseuds/MemoryThief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her name means blood, his means little wolf, but the meanings of their names don't matter, only the people behind them....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Deep Roads

**Author's Note:**

> Just snippits for the rogue duelist assassin, Rin Hawke, and the ex-slave tevinter elf, Fenris. Some fluff, some sadness, some drunkness, some fun, some denial and regret, quite the mix of emotions, right?

“So, are you sure we should be drinking so much before the expedition heads off?” Bethany asked. “I mean, having a hangover in a place where there are dawrkspawn everywhere, isn't the best idea.”

 

“It's fine, Beth.” Rin replied, taking another drink of ale. “I mean, really, I've fought worse enemies with worse than a hangover. It's no big deal.” she waved a hand through the air casually. “Only problem is if Varric, Fenris and Isabela think they can do the same. I hold my liquor like nobody else alive.”

 

“Wait, I'm not going with you?” Bethany asked as she took a sip of ale. “I thought I was!”

 

“No, because if you did, who would be here for Mother? I mean, Gamlen is an ass who couldn't give a shit less about mother, and I have to go. Plus, who knows what will be down there. I imagine golems, darkspawn, ogres, maybe a dragon and spirits. Last time we ran into an ogre, Carver was killed. I want to keep you out of the way. Nothing personal, sis.” Rin shrugged. Her sister shook her head before taking another drink.

 

“If I weren't so drunk, I would argue.” they both laughed a bit. “But anyhow, why are you taking Fenris, Varric and Isabela? I'm just curious why.”

 

“Well, I kinda have to take Varric, his brother is the one leading the expedition and all. Isabela since, well, the extra set of duelist skills will come in handy and having another dual wielding dagger rogue will help out. As for Fenris, well, I need a warrior too. I may be quick and agile, but I need a brute strength fighter. And who knows, the powers his markings have might come in handy.” Rin took a swig of her ale one more.

 

“Fenris isn't the only warrior and Varric would go weather you took him or not and Isabela, well, you don't really need another duelist rogue.” Bethany pointed out. Rin shook her head. “Oh, what? You don't like the others or something?” the mage paused. “I know! Your sweet on one of them, aren't you?”

 

“I don't know what you're talking about!” Rin said defensively, her face turning light pink and turning her head.

 

“You are!” Bethany giggled. “Let me see....you've only ever had a thing for women or elves. So...is it Fenris or Isabela?” Rin was silent as Bethany continued. “Hm...oh! Its Fenris isn't it!? The tragic past, the deeper voice, the strange markings and the big green eyes. You've said your perfect match would be somebody like that or a strong smart woman with a nice build and pretty eyes.” Rin sat like she was in silence for a few moments before turning back to Bethany.

 

“Fine! Yes! Maker, sister, I like him, alright!” she paused to take a drink. “Though after the expedition he'll probably leave, and if not, well, I'm sure he won't be interested.” she sighed. “If not, I end up alone for a while. I'm sure if I need it, I can just go seek Isabela's 'services' or something.”

 

Bethany laughed. “That you can, and she'd be willing! Anyway, when you going to say something to him?” Rin nearly choked on her drink of liquor, it sprayed out in front of her and she coughed.

 

“No! I won't tell him! Maker no. Sister, I...what if he takes it the wrong way? Or maybe he'll just hate me, maybe never talk to me. I don't know. But I can't.”

 

“I see.” Bethany pursed her lips. “Though I still think you should. But if you won't I could always, hm, let it slip.” she gave a broad grin and Rin sighed and took a drink of ale.

 

“You won't give this up, will you, Beth?” Rin asked the mage. Her sister laughed and finished her bottle of ale before answering.

 

“Well if it's so irritating to you, I will. Now, how about this. What exactly are your plans for the Deep Roads?” she asked. Rin didn't reply at first, she looked at the ceiling, racking her brain for the right words. She hadn't thought of that yet.

 

“I don't really know.” she finally said. “It's all in the air and up to Bartrand as well as Varric, I guess.” she gave a shrug. “I just hope I don't get stuck down there or have to deal with insane shit, I mean seriously, I go through that on a daily basis, just once I'd like to not have to go through that.”

 

“Knowing you, you will. Now, let's just drink, sister. We should sleep soon, then, we can get up and you can go on your expedition and kick some darkspawn ass.” Bethany told her, opening another ale. They clinked the bottles together in a toast and gulped the liquor down. It was silent, the dim candle light flickering as the two sisters drank.

 

**-x-x-x-**

****

“So, looks like I win, boys.” Isabela said with a grin, laying down her cards. “Come on, pay up.”

 

“You cheated, Revaini, I had a good hand!” Varric accused her, tossing her the coin he had lost. “It was the best hand I've had tonight, too!”

 

“Did you expect something else from her, dwarf?” Fenris asked, giving Isabela the coin he owed. “It is Isabela you are talking about.”

 

“True, Fenfen. You haven't been with Hawke's group long and you know me already.” Isabela grinned as she scooped up the coin. “You learn quite quick. So you two, tomorrow we head for the Deep Roads with Hawke. What do you want to do now? Get drunk off our asses or play another hand?”

 

“Getting drunk before something so....important seems like a bad idea.” Fenris pointed out. “But I would like to keep the little coin I have, I think I will go.” the elf got to his feet but Isabela grabbed his forearm.

 

“Oh no you don't, Fenfen. You're gonna join us for the fun or do you just not want to look like an idiot in front of us?” she quirked an eyebrow. “Or maybe not in front of Hawke because you don't want her seeing you utterly broke and trashed like those in the alienage and in darktown.”

 

“None of those that you listed. But I would rather not be hung over while fighting Darkspawn.” he told her, ripping his arm away from her.

 

“Right, of course. Fine, leave. Go ahead then. Go on.” she waved a hand to shoo him away. He just sighed and paid no attention as he walked away. “Alright Varric, how about another hand of Wicked Grace and a drink?” he heard Isabela add but he was too far away by the time Varric replied. Fenris left the Hanged Man and headed for hightown but he stopped and looked in the direction of Hawke's house, wondering what the rogue was up to.

 

He didn't know why he wondered so about her, but her did. She was much different from anyone else he had ever met, kinder and calmer, and she had a good sense of humor. Hell, she even looked pretty damn good, he couldn't deny that. But still, he wondered why her thought of her so much. It was strange and confusing to him.

 

Fenris shook his head with a slight sigh before walking on for hightown, but he was still wondering what Hawke was up to. What would she do the night before something so important for her and her sister and her mother? But it was anybody's guess....


	2. The Red Ribbon

The door to Rin Hawke's bedroom shut with a quiet slam when she kicked it closed, the lock instantly clicked. It was quiet other than for the sound the rain drops that pelted against the window with thunder sounding in the distance. She kicked of her shoes and they landed near the fire place to dry. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed. Nothing would ever be the same, never.

“I'm the idiot, not him.” she muttered, stripping off her soaking clothes and going to the wardrobe for her night gown. If she hadn't pushed him, hadn't kissed him, hadn't done what she did, then maybe they could be friends still without any complications. But she had, and now, she had no idea what he thought of her, of what was to come and happen, or how things would go them there.

After a few hours of sitting on her bed, her eyes staring at nothingness, she had gotten up and dressed before running outside to get away from the lonely and empty room, but then it had begun to pour down rain. For two hours she wandered in the soaking wet weather, for three hours she stood leaning on an estate wall before slowly making her way home, the rain masking her tears, the thunder drowning out her screams, her sobs and her moans.

Rin held up her left wrist, a soaking wet red ribbon still tied around it, and it wasn't coming off, not now, not ever. The meaning meant so much to her. Some would tell her it's just a ribbon, it can be replaced, but no, those people would be wrong, it was more than that.

“Wasn't this supposed to say we were bound in a way? Wasn't it supposed to mean something? To mean that you loved me just as much as I love you...” she whispered, quickly slipping off her bra and sliding into the white silken night gown. A flash of lightning shown in the corner of her eye and she spun around. “Fenris?!” she asked, but no reply. Damn it, the light had just fooled her, that's all. The rogue buttoned up her night gown before falling onto her bed, face down in a pillow, tears still streaking her cheeks.

There was a knock on the door and she raised her head, looking at the heavy wooden door. She blinked before she spoke, her voice filled with sorrow, loss, irritation and agony. She felt so alone and it hurt to speak at times.

“Whoever it is, go away! I'm not in the mood to talk!” she yelled. No reply came for a few moments, the only sound was her own breathing and the rain drops pelting the window with soft thumps.

“Rin, its me.” a familiar voice told her, trying to open the door but the lock held strongly. Rin got to her feet quickly and dashed to the door, unlocking it before pulling it open with a gust of air blowing her soaking wet hair out of her face.

“Bethany!? But you...the circle....what the....how are you here?” the rogue asked confused, starring at the young mage. She had seen the Templars take Bethany to the Circle after returning from the Deep Roads, how was she here? The Templars never let a mage in the circle leave from the Gallows, did they?

“Mother told me something was wrong and managed to get a few Templars to escort me here. I don't know how but she did it.” Bethany shrugged. “And Bodahn said you were out in the rain for five hours. What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” Rin lied. Bethany put a hand on her shoulder, giving her a stare with her brownish gold eyes.

“That's bullshit, you and I both know it is. Please, maybe I can help.” she suggested. Rin sighed and signaled for her to sit on the bed before closing the door again. Just like many times before she found herself talking to her sister about this, Bethany may have been her little sister, but she gave pretty good advice. The two Hawke girls sat next to one another on the edge of the bed in silence before Rin began to explain.

“Alright, I....it's complicated.” the rogue took a deep breath. “Remember the night before I went to the Deep Roads? When you and I had just had a good time and drank ale and all, and when we started talking about the people I had as companions.” she paused and Bethany nodded. “Well, then you remember what I said about each of them. I suppose you could say, I did get a night with him, but he leaves because memories flash and it hurt, I guess. It broke my heart, and I don't know what to do. I still have to deal with him, you know, I mean, we see each other every day.”

“Just don't talk about it for now, let the wound heal before you make it bigger just for answers that you might not even get. Okay, that sounded better in my head. But you know what I mean. If you pry, you could drive him away, and we both know that's the last thing you want, right?” Bethany told her. Rin nodded and tucked her brown hair behind her ear, suddenly Bethany reached out and grabbed her wrist. “What's this, sister?”

“Oh shit. Would you believe me if I said it's just a ribbon?” she asked. Her sister frowned. “Okay, okay, it's...a favor, like a bind, alright. I ripped the ribbon that father gave me with a doll, and I kept half but gave half to him. And nothing anybody can say will get me to take it off, maybe he did leave me, but I still care, so there for, it doesn't come off!”

“How sweet.” Bethany murmured. “Rin, I want to tell you something real quick, since they aren't allowing me to stay long. Just remember this, no matter what, I am sure this will all work out for you in the end, I am sure of it. And know that you are the best sister anybody could wish for, so take care, okay?” the two girls stood and hugged one another.

“Thank you, Beth, I...I bet your right. And you’re just as well the best sister. I will but you have to make the same promise, alright?” Rin replied. Bethany gave a nod before leaving. “So many people just walk out, don't they?” she whispered when the door shut again. “Why did anything have to happen like this?”

Rin leaned her back against the door. Nothing ever really went right for her. Her father was dead, her brother was dead, her mother was trying to marry her off, her sister was in the Circle, and the one she loved since she had met him had left her. Like it mattered anymore, that was the past, it was time for her to move on. But could she? That was the question.

-x-x-x-

He shouldn't have left her, what he did was cowardly and stupid. She probably hated him now, damn it. He felt foolish, he knew that much at least.

The rain drenched him as he stood outside the mansion he called his house. Fenris hadn't felt like going inside yet, because if he did, then he'd fall over and most likely die. He had gone to apologized to her and then they were kissing, soon up in her room. What was he supposed to do now? She still had things to do, and she always had him with her. What if she came to speak with him? It would be an awkward mess, if not worse. Everything between them was broken, and all thanks to him.

He looked to his wrist; to the soaking wet ribbon she had gifted him. The elf smiled softly, her kindness was more then he deserved.

“Venhedis.” he muttered with a sigh, shaking his head. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed. Maybe it would hit him, maybe that would be better than the moment right now.

Earlier, he could hear screams, now they were gone, and he had known exactly who it was; Rin Hawke. He had peeked around one of the walls and seen her, thugs going after her as she wandered the soaking hightown streets. His fault, it was all his fault.

He looked around the wall again, eying the estate. Two templars exited with a mage before them. Her robes were those mages wore in the circle and he golden eyes were full of worry, he could tell. Her build was that similar to Hawke's, it must have been Bethany.

Fenris wanted to go over and talk to her, he never had minded the young mage, though she was a mage, she was no magister, and he actually kind of liked her, she was like her sister, so kind and caring. But what was she doing in hightown?

“Elf!” she called, waving a hand at him. Damn, she had seen him looking at her. “Come on, I know you're there.” she added. He shifted and came out of hiding, she was already coming over to him, her arms crossed, staff clanking against the hard, wet ground. She stopped in front of him and her golden gaze was hard, almost scary.

“You hurt Rin. She told me.” Bethany said. Fenris was silent, not knowing exactly what to reply. “Listen, I want you to fix it. I don't care what you do, but fix it. Her heart is broken and I hate seeing my big sister like that. She hurts, and you are responsible.”

“I know I am, and I feel completely foolish for leaving. I want nothing more than her happiness, know that. But I do not know how to fix this mess. She hates me, doesn't she?” he asked. Bethany shook her head.

“She may be upset, but she doesn't hate you, no.” the mage paused. “Just...please be careful with her, ever since out father and brother died, she's been more fragile than before. She blames herself for their deaths, and with me in the circle, she feels worse for not protecting me.” she paused. “She is lonely, and she is trying to protect mother because she feels if she doesn't, mother will end up like our father and brother. Please, just promise me you'll try to fix this. Magic can heal physical wounds but not mental wounds, only feelings can. And I know that nobody else can help her, she won't let them help, it has to be you.” it was silent between them for a few moments.

“Miss Hawke, we need to get you back to the gallows.” one of the templars told her. Bethany turned and gave a nod before letting them lead her away. Fenris stood there for a few more moments in the pelting rain before heading back the way of his borrowed mansion. He had no clue how he was going to face Rin, but he knew he had to at some point, and soon. No matter how much he felt like a cowardly fool, he had to make it up to her, no matter what it took and even if it took him years, or even cost him his life, he would make it up to the rogue who had given him so much.


	3. Ghosts of the Past

Rin sat in her bed with a book in hand, the fire flickering and crackling in the hearth, her mabari snoring from the foot of the bed. The book she read was one her parents had read to her when she was younger, it was about an elven rogue who had gone into the fade in search of her sister, and killed countless spirits until she reached her sister, but something horrible had happened and both the sisters suffered because of it.

The door squeaked as it slid open and Rin looked up from the pages of her book. There seemed to be nobody there but she wasn't sure if it was a trick one of her companions would pull or not.

“Isabela? Is that you?” she called, knowing it was a trick the pirate would be the one to pull. When there was no answer, Rin got to her feet and set the book aside. She quickly and quietly moved to the door and pulled it open.

In front of her stood a pale man in mage robes. He looked familiar to her and it took her a moment to figure out where she had seen him before....it was her deceased father, Malcom Hawke. She nearly jumped and fell backward, he was dead, what was he doing in front of her?

“Rin...” he said her name softly, and she could only barely hear. She blinked in disbelief, her golden eyes flickering.

“Father....but I...how?” she asked in complete confusion. He looked at her and seemed to smile sweetly at her, taking a step closer. Rin wanted to back away in terror. She had dealt with many things, but seeing a ghost, and not to mention her father, scared the shit out of her.

“You'd be surprised.” he told her simply. “You know, you look a lot like your mother. So does your sister. You two have grown up so well. I wish I could have lived to see it.” he paused. “Your mother and brother are glad to see you both doing well too.”

“I'm sorry.” she blurted. “For not being able to save you all. I shouldn't have let Carver attack the ogre, I should have been quicker for mother, and I should have killed the darkspawn before they got to you.”

“It's not your fault, dear.” he told her, his tone calm and caring but firm. Rin felt tears well up behind her eyes but she blinked them away. She wanted to argue and tell him that it was her fault, but her mouth stayed shut. It was silent for a few moments but then he spoke again.

“So, about this elf you're with...” he trailed off.

“Oh! Father, I....must we talk about this?” she asked, her skin turning a light pink. “I'm a grown woman, I don't need a lecture.”

“You've always been so defensive, Rin.” her father chuckled. “No, that's not it. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you found somebody to spend your life with. Though he is a bit....different.” Rin looked back to him, her skin still slightly pink.

“I know, yes.” she said. “But it was you who told me that nothing should stand in the way of feelings, be that magic, gender, race or origin. And I took that to heart.” she gave a small nod

“I can see.” he paused. “And I can also see you've done well for yourself. Gotten the estate back, become the champion of Kirkwall, and saved so many. You've done well.” he told her. Rin blinked slowly and shook her head.

“It's not all me, father, I had some help.” she smiled. “I've had help from the best people around, even better than those that cousin Laura traveled with. Nobody can beat my friends, no, it's not possible.”

“Yes, I can agree with that.” Malcom told her. “Rin, I must go, alright? Take care of yourself and Bethany. We'll all meet again in the future. But for now, its farewell.” with that he started to fade away. Rin was silent as he did, and after he was gone, she felt herself crying, already missing her father again. A few tears feel from her eyes and she murmured words that her father had once told her when she was young; through everything family will always be with you, as will friends and loved ones, never forget that.

-x-x-x-

For once it was quiet, and he wasn't used to that. There was always something that broke the silence, but for the many times he had wanted it, now that he had it, he felt out of place. The fire was flickering with a dim light. Fenris laid on one of the ruined couches in front of the fire, an empty bottle of agreggio pavali wine on the floor and an over turned book next to it. His eyes flickered closed in exhaustion but he managed to stay awake.

“Oh Leto.” a voice rung out. He sat up quickly, looking around. “Or should I say Fenris, now?” the famine voice didn't sound familiar to him what so ever, and he had no idea who it was. A pale white woman with long black hair in a blue dress and a snow white apron stepped off the stairway and smiled softly.

“You couldn't have forgotten me, could you?” she asked. “Oh you have changed so much from when you were younger. I remember the days you would tease your sister and she'd coming screaming for me to help her. The masters never were pleased with all the noise you two caused.” the woman continued. “Oh, how rude of me, I had forgotten you don't remember because of that lyrium. No trace of me, then? I am Ketori, your mother.” He nearly jumped when she said that, this was his mother? She took a few steps forward and looked at him with a kindness in her pale green eyes.

“Hmph, so you don’t remember me. I should have known, I guess, after you didn’t even know Varania. That damned bastard Danarius took everything away from you. It makes me happy to see the old master dead. And killed by you no less, I may sound like a horrible mother, but I’m proud of you for doing what you did.” She told him. Now he had no idea what to reply, yes he may have wondered what his mother was like, but this, this wasn’t how he wanted to find out.

“Not going to talk to me?” she sighed, turning away. “I didn’t think so. A mother you don’t remember visiting you as a ghost. Alright, I suppose I can just go ahead and leave then.”

“No, I just do not have any idea of what to tell you. Or even if what you say is true. You said it yourself, I can’t remember, I lost everything.” he said. She turned back and smiled sweetly.

“You can trust me, alright? I'll tell you anything to prove it.” she pursed her lips in thought. “But this isn't what I wanted to talk about. Actually, I wanted to talk about that human rogue, Hawke. She seems very...wonderful, really. I'm not here to lecture you, no, I just want to wish you two well. It's nice to see you've found happiness in this hell of a world. And by the looks of it, you two will be together for quite a long while.”

“Your point?” he asked. He failed to see her point in her telling him this, though he saw truth in her words, hadn't Rin said something similar once? She had, about the ribbon, being a bind.

“My point being that you take care of that girl. She can do a good job by herself, sure, but I've seen how fragile she can be, just like a piece of glass. You do something wrong and she breaks.” Ketori replied, her eyes giving a serious look now.

But she didn't have to tell him that, Fenris had already known that for years now, ever since that night.

“Now, I bid you farewell, my dear son. I may just go visit your sister next,” Ketori laughed and faded from sight. Fenris blinked and looked around, that had certainly been strange. A ghost, his supposed mother. He sighed and fell back onto the couch, in moments he was asleep.


End file.
